Doof Mom

Because I know it’ll come up at some point, I figure I might as well let you know up front that I am a social worker for Child Protective Services. Yes, for them.

And because you will probably ask (even if you’re afraid to do it on the blog), here’s the answers to the most FAQ’s.

• No, I do NOT get bonuses for detaining children.  There is no quota to meet. I’ve removed over 100 children from bad situations and nary a DVD player or microwave has been awarded me.
• No, I do NOT enjoy “breaking up families”. I do get a measure of satisfaction from removing children from unsafe, abusive and generally yucky conditions. But no, it’s not fun.
• No, I won’t detain a child if there are dishes in the sink. Don’t kid yourself, if a child is detained for a “dirty house” the house was friggin’ D-I-R-T-Y — the kind of dirty you [hopefully] can’t imagine. The kind of dirty where three showers later I can still smell the stench in my hair and DH makes me sleep in the living room. On the floor. So I don’t stink up the couch.
• Yes, sometimes families get screwed. It’s the nature of bureaucracy. But most of the time, whatever the verdict, it is deserved. Evidence is evidence, no matter what excuses are made.
• The job is very stressful — right up there with air traffic controllers according to a national survey. It’s sometimes rewarding, and often just plain sucks.
• The job has helped me to develop a morbid, dark, raunchy sense of humor. Deal with it and know that I don’t actually mean it that way. Most of the time.
• Yes, I have a soul, a conscience and a brain.

Feel free to comment, ask me questions . . . but be civil. I am.