Being the control freak I am, I clean their bathroom (to make sure it maintains some semblance of sanitation). Imagine my surprise to grab the toilet brush, lift the seat and spot a single cent in the toilet bowl.

Just sitting there. A penny.

The following dialogue ensues:

DoofMom:  KIDS, why is there a penny in the toilet?

Gabby:  I don’t know, but it’s been there for two days.

Mr. E:  There’s a penny in the toilet?!?

Jare:  I don’t know.

DoofMom:  Okay, I’ll rephrase the question — who put the penny in the toilet and left it there?

Kids (in unison):  Not me.

DoofMom:  Okay, so let me get this straight. There’s a penny in the toilet only you guys use and no one knows how it got there?

Kids (in unison):  Yep.

DoofMom:  Are you suggesting I left it there? The dad? Or maybe one of the animals? Think Mose hid it there???  Seriously?

Kids:  ::: blank stare :::

Several seconds pass. Theories are offered:  perhaps I had done it when sorting the laundry — you know, if it was in someones pants and I shook out the pants? Or maybe someone was holding it and forgot they had it when they used the potty and it fell in?

DoofMom:  And y’all just left it there for TWO DAYS, peeing and pooping on it, for TWO DAYS?

Kids (in unison):  Yep.

DoofMom:  No one thought about — oh, I don’t know — maybe getting it OUT OF THE TOILET?

Kids (in unison):  Nope.

Mr. E (brave, foolhardy soul):  I figured it’d flush down :::shrug:::

This gave me pause. IT HADN’T FLUSHED DOWN. Ewww! What else lurks in the toilet, not flushed, that I can’t see? STUFF.THAT.DOESN’T.FLUSH.DOWN!?!?  Ewwww! I mean, I clean the toilets on a fairly regular basis. But EWWW! Stuff can just sit there? I use those blue tablet things in the tank. I like a clean potty as much as the next mom.  We flush after using the potty. How long can something — say, a penny — sit in the bottom of the bowl unfettered?

While I’m pondering this, Jare reaches in and pulls it out. Calmly washes his hands and the penny and pockets the offending coin.

And the kids disperse.

Isn’t bathroom cleaning the worst? I have two boys and a husband that seem to find the notion of peeing completely INSIDE the toilet bowl to be optional. A suggestion if you will. A silly whim of the DoofMom.

Why is it that DH can throw a golf ball 200 yards into a friggin’ dixie cup but can’t hit the toilet with his urine from less than a foot??!  WTF?

Seriously, WTF?