Doof Mom

So I’ve been trying to do better about cooking real meals lately. Tonight I made chicken breasts (which I seasoned with — as Mr. E so poetically put it — a bunch of stuff thrown in the pan), steamed veggies (broccoli & cauliflower) and Rice’A'Roni, Rice Pilaf flavor. (Yeah, yeah, I know, technically boxed Rice’A'Roni isn’t real food . . . what-ev-er food purists).

Sidenote: I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I changed the kids’ school to a public charter school, so they’re doing a lot of their work as homeschool. It’s a great school — but that’s a whole ‘nother thing.

Anyway — I was helping Jare with his science whilst I was cooking. You’re thinking “uh-oh — not a good idea”. Go ahead, admit it, you know you’re thinking it’s dangerous for the easily-distracted-ditzy-DoofMom to do two things at once. And — this time — you’d be right.

We sit down to eat — the Big D, as you’d expect, is shoveling food into his mouth without comment — looking pained, but no comment. I’m thinking it’s ‘cuz I won’t let him salt his food anymore. (I’m not an ogre, people! It’s because of his blood pressure.)

Jare takes a bite of his rice and announces: Mom, this rice has no flavor.

I’m like — shit! — I forgot to put the seasoning packet in the Rice’A'Roni!  I gotta say, I like plain white rice. I like plain brown rice. But I learned something tonight — I don’t like unflavored Rice’A'Roni! It tastes like dirty sockwater (or what I’d imagine dirty sockwater to taste like if I cooked rice in it). Blech, blech, double-blech!

The family erupted in laughter, finger-pointing, and general gaiety directed my way. I swear, forget one little thing . . .

The Big D, bless his heart, says “I wasn’t going to say a word” knowing full well, the last time he criticized my cooking I didn’t cook for about 4 years! A man that knows what’s good for him — what a find.