Doof Mom

So I’ve been a little bitchier than usual cranky lately. What with being the only income in the home and also being the only one who gives a shit does any housework whatsoever. So what this amounts to is I work all week and then work at home all weekend. And still try to have somewhat of a creative, fulfilling life. Sometimes life with a bi-polar spouse sucks.

Today, E, boy genius, bless his heart, thought he’d help out. So I’m at work, writing a hellish professional court report on a case that is a fucking mess, and I get a text message from E about him baking a cake. He’s never baked a cake before, so kudos goes to E for effort. (A little aside about the cake:  I’m not sure how it’s possible to bake a cake mix meant for a 9×13″ pan in a 8×11″ pan and have it come out 1″ thick. And have some raw, runny pockets interspersed. It was . . . interesting. I’ll have to have him teach me so I can pass along the wisdom.)

And then I have the following text message exchange (apparently I do much of my parenting via text & twitter. Geez.)  with E :

E:  I tried to do the dishes, and it ended up in kind of an I Love Lucy fashion. But I’m cleaning it up.

DM: I’m cracking up. I can only imagine. Thanks for cleaning it up.

{Naturally at this point I Twitter about it. And tell all co-workers within earshot.}

E:  Well, that’s the end of my dishwashing career.

Then I receive an image (courtesy of the working MMS on my iPhone):

Blurry but bubbly!

Blurry, yes, but what you’re looking at is my best bath towels and bubbles on the kitchen floor in front of the dishwasher.

E:  Think I used a little too much soap.

DM:  Ya think?

Later E tells me that while the dishwasher fiasco is happening, the Big D is sleeping (taking his not-so-hard-earned lazy ass daily nap). E wakes him up to tell him he’s going to mop the floors . . . kitchen & bathrooms . . . neglecting to mention it’s with the soapy, wet bath towels. The Big D mumbles something about dinosaurs wearing shoes. Yes, D is THAT helpful.

E:  The bubbles just kept coming an coming.

E:  You’re going to tell this to everyone at work, aren’t you?

Oh honey, you know me better than that.  I don’t tell people  just at work!  I Twittered!  I blogged!  Now THE WORLD knows!

Turns out E used the Dawn dishwashing liquid and not the Cascade dishWASHER liquid. And just so we’re clear, I really truly do appreciate my son so much for helping out. Thanks E! Love you!