Doof Mom

It’s hard to believe just how excited I am that tomorrow — tomorrow, tomorrow,  I love you, tomorrow– my $300 iPhone will be able to do something every other cheap-ass $20 cell phone produced since 1987 can already easily do — send a friggin’ picture via text message! I can’t wait! Is anyone else this excited?

You notice that the it-isn’t-a-monopoly-it’s-just-an-exclusive-contract-only-carrier-in-the-US AT&T hasn’t really advertised that their network HAS NOT BEEN READY to iPhone MMS for the past couple of years. In fact, I distinctly recall seeing the iPhone sending pictures from the txt screen on the demo video in the store when the 3Gs came out. So I bought one. WTF?? WHY can I not send a picture?!?!??

It’s funny — I don’t send all that many pictures via text message. But I’ve sooo missed this feature since I got my iPhone.  A few days after I got the iPhone, I was shopping without my children. Shopping. Without. Children. Luxury of luxuries, yes?  Being able to browse to my heart’s content . . . to be distracted by all the shiny things without having to do constant vigilance on what the other three pairs of hands were touching . . . to be able to look at bras without any embarrassed boy companions LOUDLY bemoaning their existence. Pure Luxury. Deserving of Caps.  But I digress.

I found a shirt I thought J would like. But J, being J, is P-I-C-K-Y has highly evolved — and very discerning — tastes. Particularly about his clothing. So I thought I’d snap a quick pic & txt it to him, right?  WRONG. The  iPhone I had already fallen in love with — have I mentioned my iPhone is like my best friend? — can NOT send a picture via a text message. No MMS capability. At. All. Seriously? This phone can tell me where I am within like 2 centimetres, tell me where the closest Starbucks is no matter where I am, can name that tune after hearing a snippet on the radio and it CAN NOT SEND A PICTURE?!?!?  WTF?  So my husband’s aunt, who has like a free AT&T phone, steps up, snaps a pic and a few seconds later I’ve got a txt from J giving me his blessing to buy the shirt. Meanwhile, I’m still staring — dumbfounded — at my phone. I felt so betrayed.

And yes, there’s an app for that. There’s workarounds. For $5 I can buy an app send an MMS “text” via email to another phone. Like I’m gonna spend $5 for my phone to do something every cell phone I’ve ever seen can do for free? Get real. And why should I have to work-around AT&T’s inadequacy?

AT&T has the chance to make it up to me tomorrow. They’d better not fuck this up.